Hey there, lovely soul! Does life feel like you’re constantly spinning plates? One moment, you’re trying to stay grounded; the next, it feels like everything is flying in different directions. If you’re nodding along, you’re in the right place. Whether you’re caring for kids, shifting careers, or finding new ways to support your emotional healing, this middle stage of life can be messy—but it’s also filled with magic.
I’m 44, and I’m in that sandwich generation, balancing raising two kids and a partner (who sometimes must raise me), running a business, caring for aging parents, guiding them away from online scams, or making sure they take their medication, and navigating the rollercoaster of midlife changes. But here’s what I’ve learned: amidst the chaos is an opportunity to reconnect with yourself in ways you might not expect. There’s something powerful about leaning into the messiness and discovering the magic in the middle.
With a life expectancy of 80.2 years for women NCBI, we’re spending more time in this “sandwiched” space than previous generations. That means we need to pace ourselves for the long haul.
Ruthless Self-Love: It’s Non-Negotiable
Let’s be real—when’s the last time you put yourself first? If you’re like most women I know, you’ve spent years taking care of everyone else. But here’s the thing: you can’t pour from an empty cup. This is where ruthless self-love comes into play.
I’ve learned the importance of ruthless self-love. Not the soft, passive kind, but the bold, unapologetic love that puts you first, even when it feels counterintuitive. After years of caring for everyone else, breaking the habit of pushing your needs aside is hard. I’ve realized that showing up thriving in life isn’t about perfection; it’s about making space for your own needs so that you can show up fully—whether that’s for your kids, your career, or yourself.
Maya Angelou once said, “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
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Reconnecting with Who You Are
As we move through life’s stages, we change. The person you were in your 20s & 30s isn’t who you are now. If you’ve been thinking, “What’s next for me?” you’re not alone. Self-awareness in the middle years is about rediscovering who you are beyond the roles you play—whether it’s parent, partner, caregiver, or career. It’s about tuning into your inner desires, understanding your needs, and giving yourself permission to explore new avenues of growth. Take the time to check in with yourself, especially if you’re feeling disconnected from who you once were. Maybe you’ve been exploring new practices like yoga, reiki, or crystals, looking for ways to nurture your physical and emotional health while discovering a deeper connection to your inner self.
Personally, I’ve found that transitioning into a new career as a creative has forced me to look at life differently. Running my business means wearing all the hats, but it’s also invited me to explore my spiritual side. That’s where crystals, rituals, and a more mindful approach to life have come in. They’ve allowed me to tap into something deeper that feels aligned with the changes I’m going through. For me, that magic often shows up in the simple things: watching my kids grow and evolve, seeing my business take new shapes, or connecting with people who inspire me.
Amidst all the messiness of life, there are moments of joy, connection, and discovery that remind us why we’re here, even when things feel overwhelming.
Joseph Campbell’s words resonate deeply: “We must let go of the life we have planned so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” This stage of life isn’t about clinging to old expectations; it’s about embracing what’s here right now. And part of that is letting go of the pressure to have it all figured out.
Carving Out Space for Yourself: Essential, Not Optional
Let’s talk about space. No, not outer space—though escaping to a galaxy far, far away does sound appealing sometimes. I’m talking about creating mental and emotional space for yourself. You can’t run at full throttle all the time, and if you don’t pause, life will do it for you.
I know the feeling of wanting to keep going and check one more thing off the to-do list. But here’s what happens when you pause: clarity comes. Those quiet moments hold the magic, whether you’re reflecting on a big change, an emotional wound, or the day’s chaos.
Just the other week, after a fantastic whirlwind of a business conference, family commitments, and unexpected hospital visits (my stepdad’s health scare brought up all the emotions), I knew I needed to press reset. It was one of those weeks where everything felt heavy. So, I did the most unproductive, productive thing: I took a break. I gave myself permission to sit in the quiet, reflect, and just be.
That’s when the moments of rejuvenation and healing come—when you stop moving long enough to listen to what you need. It’s not indulgent; it’s necessary. Carving out space for yourself allows you to recharge and realign, whether you’re stepping out for a walk in nature, meditating with your favorite crystals, or jamming out to your favorite tunes.
Suggested Crystals for the Middle Path
If you’re on a journey of healing and self-discovery, crystals can be powerful tools to support you on your journey. Here are four that I’ve found particularly grounding and transformative during this middle phase of life:
- Amethyst: Known for its calming and balancing properties, Amethyst helps soothe the mind and encourages clarity in times of change. It’s a great companion if you’re navigating emotional healing or feeling overwhelmed by life’s demands.
- Moonstone: The ultimate stone for new beginnings, Moonstone connects with the feminine energies of intuition and growth. It reminds us to embrace the cycles of life. It is perfect for anyone seeking to connect with their inner wisdom during transitions.
- Rose Quartz: A stone of unconditional love, Rose Quartz is ideal for those needing to practice self-love and compassion. Whether healing old wounds or opening your heart to new possibilities, this crystal helps you stay grounded in kindness—especially toward yourself.
- Pyrite: Known for its vibration to shield and protect from negative energy, it is believed to create a strong, energetic shield around the wearer, making it perfect for those who feel pulled in multiple directions. It’s a grounding stone that encourages resilience and determination, helping you face life’s challenges head-on. Pyrite serves as a powerful reminder to protect your space while empowering you to move through life with strength and purpose.
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Affirmations for the Journey
Incorporating affirmations into your daily routine can guide your thoughts and intentions. Here are two that I use regularly:
- “I release what no longer serves me and welcome new growth opportunities and moments.”
- “I am worthy of the time and space I need to heal and thrive.”
Embracing the Messy of It All
Here’s the real takeaway: the messiness of this stage doesn’t go away, but you can turn it into something meaningful. Life will continue to throw curveballs—unexpected challenges, family dynamics shifts, and career changes. But with each challenge, there’s also an opportunity to find new strengths and perspectives.
Celebrating the Magical Middle
Life in the middle is both messy and magical. It’s a time of transition, growth, and self-discovery. The challenges of balancing children, work, relationships, or aging parents are real, but so are the moments of awe and wonder when we allow ourselves to pause, reflect, and embrace the journey. As we navigate these years, let’s remember to fiercely love ourselves, take time for our needs, and find joy in the small moments of magic. Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. The magic is in the mess, and it’s up to us to find it. Together, we can embrace and nurture that mess into something truly beautiful.